My older partner is a gambler and keeps asking for money | Dear Mariella

Stop giving her cash, says Mariella Frostrup. It’s not good for either of you if you become her financial cushion

The dilemma My partner and I have been together for two years and I could not be more in love with her. We spend our days laughing until our stomachs hurt. The problem is that she is 36 and a recovering gambling addict while I am 24 and have just recently graduated. She has accumulated several years of debt from friends, family and loan sharks. I naively lent her almost £2,000 from my savings at the beginning of our relationship. She told me at the time she needed it to pay her rent, but I’ve since found out she gambled it away.

Despite the fact that I earn less than her, she consistently runs out of money halfway through the month and I end up paying joint expenses. She pays me back, so other than the initial £2,000, which she has not yet started to pay back, I don’t end up out of pocket for too long. However, it is beginning to get me down.

It’s not respectful of your girlfriend to treat you as a cashpoint

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